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View Full Version : Favorite South Park Quotes



CliveStaples
November 21st, 2005, 07:48 PM
Who else likes this show?

Here's some of my favorites:



"Half the kids in the class didn't vote for your nephew. What about them? You don't give a crap about them because they aren't on your side. People like you preach tolerance and openmindedness all the time but when it comes to middle America you think we're all evil and stupid country yokels who need your political alignment. Just because you're on TV doesn't mean you know crap about the government." -- Mr. Garrison yelling at Rosie O'Donnell



"The President responded to the situation by saying "Screw those commie bastards and screw their wussy space station." -- Newscaster



"[the soldier next to him cocks his shotgun] You white Americans make me sick! [emphasizes his disgust with thumps on the table] You waste food, oil, and everything else because you're so rich, and then you tell the rest of the world to save the rainforest because you like its pretty flowers." -- People's Army Leader in the rainforest



"I have good news and bad news for you. The good news is that you're perfectly healthy. The bad news is that you have cancer." -- Terrance



" ... I don't want to shoot the bunny." -- Stan
"No nephew of mine is going to be a tree hugger." -- Jimbo
"Yeah hippie, go back to Woodstock if you don't want to shoot anything." -- Cartman



"Dude, dolphins are intelligent and friendly!" -- Wendy
"Intelligent and friendly on rye bread, with some mayonaise." -- Cartman



"Independent films are those black and white hippy movies. They're always about gay cowboys eating pudding." -- Cartman [Proof that he is correct (http://ace.mu.nu/archives/131585.php)]



"They won't have any trouble seeing the ball, with their BIG American eyes." -- Chinese Broadcaster



"It's time to stop large corporations. Prop. 10 is about children. Vote Yes on Prop. 10, or else, you hate children. You don't hate… children… Do you? Remember, keep American business small, or else. Paid for by Citizens for a Fair and Equal way to get Harbucks Coffee kicked out of town forever." -- Commercial



"A haiku is just like a normal American poem except it doesn't rhyme and it's totally stupid." -- Mr. Garrison



"If irony was made of strawberries, we'd all be drinking a lot of smoothies right now." -- Newscaster Ned



Mr. Garrison: "Settle down children. I have some difficult news. This is going to make you all very sad. The school board is considering firing me as your teacher. There's a possibility that I'll be let go and never allowed to teach you again. Yes Stanley."
Stan: "That's okay with us."
Cartman: "Yeah."
Stan: "Yeah, thats fine."
Mr. Garrison: "No it isn't. It makes you very sad."



Gerald Brofloski: "You see Kyle, we live in a liberal-democratic society, and democrats make sexual harassment laws, these laws tell us what we can and can't say in the work place, and what we can and can't do in the work place."
Kyle Brovslofksi: "Isn't that Fascism?"
Gerald Brofloski: "No, because we don't call it Fascism."






Pip: "Oh Eric, I didn't get an invitation."
Eric Cartman: "Hmm, what could I have done with Pip's invitation? Pip's invitation... Pip's invitation... Oh, I remember. I shoved it up my @ss. That's right. I wrote it up, put in an envelope, sealed it, and shoved it right up my @ss, forever ruining any chance of you coming to my birthday party. Sorry, Pip ol' chap".





Warning: mentions female genatalia


Dr. Doctor: "He's very luck you got him here when you did. He was in a very advanced state of vaginitis."
Randy: "Vaginitis?"
Dr. Doctor: "It occurs when a person stops eating meat. Those sores on his skin were actually small vaginas. If we hadn't stopped it in time, Stan would have eventually just become one great big giant p*ssy."






"It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom." -- Cartman on a goat sent to him and his friends by some kids in Afghanistan







Terrance: "We're looking for treasure!"
Scott: "Is that some kind of metaphor for a a kind of search that can't be described?!"

Phillip: "Nnno, we're searching for treasure."






"America may have some problems, but it's our home, our team. And if you don't wanna root for your team, then you should get the hell out of the stadium." -Stan






News Reporter: "Aaron I'm standing at the Time Portal which scientists say follows Terminator (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terminator) rules, that is it's one way only and you can't go back. This is in contrast to say, Back To The Future (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Back_To_The_Future) rules, where back and forth is possible, and of course Timerider (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timerider) rules which are just plain silly."

CliveStaples
November 21st, 2005, 08:14 PM
Let's call this thread the real one.

Mr. Hyde
November 21st, 2005, 08:21 PM
Gerald Brofloski: "You see Kyle, we live in a liberal-democratic society, and democrats make sexual harassment laws, these laws tell us what we can and can't say in the work place, and what we can and can't do in the work place."
Kyle Brovslofksi: "Isn't that Fascism?"
Gerald Brofloski: "No, because we don't call it Fascism."


BEST one on the list.

Snoop
November 21st, 2005, 08:29 PM
Let's call this thread the real one.Clive - you had time to jot these down while watching? There are some good web sites out there for more ... here's a good one:

<TABLE cellSpacing=4 cellPadding=2 width="100%" align=center border=0><TBODY><TR><TD class=espacio2>November 7, 2005

Q. - Why is it that Satan's ex, Chris, is in hell? It's not because he's gay, right?
</TD></TR><TR><TD class=espacio2>A. - No, it's because he's not Mormon.
</TD></TR></TBODY></TABLE>

CliveStaples
November 21st, 2005, 08:49 PM
Clive - you had time to jot these down while watching?

Not so much, no. I just googled the episodes that I remembered having good quotes and copied+pasted them here.

Zhavric
November 22nd, 2005, 10:51 AM
I don't remember the line and I'm a little busy at work today so I can't google it, but I LOVE the South Park where they called O.J. a murderer.

KevinBrowning
November 22nd, 2005, 10:50 PM
From the movie:

Kyle: "Hey, Mole, be careful."
The Mole: "Careful? Was my mother careful when she stabbed me in the heart with a clothes hanger while I was still in the womb?"
Stan: "Damn, dude, that kid is ****ed up!"

Chef: "Haven't you heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?"
General: "I don't listen to hip-hop."

Satan: "Is sex the only thing that matters to you?"
Saddam Hussein: "I love you."

Newscaster: "Is Terrance and Philip affecting America's youth? Here with that report is a midget in a bikini."
Midget in bikini: "Thanks, Tom."

Canadian Minister of Movies: "The Canadian government has apologized for Bryan Adams on numerous occasions!"

Mr. Hyde
November 22nd, 2005, 11:48 PM
Here's some of my favorites:

Kyle: Stan, I thought those Afghan kids got you to hate America.
Stan: No, I Iearned something today, and it's that America is our home team, and if you don't want to root for the home team then get the hell out of the stadium.

Cartman: It's an Afghanistan goat, so it can't stay here, or else it'll choke on the sweet air of freedom.

Goth Kid: To be a non-conformist, you have to dress in black, and listen to the same music we do.

Stan: Guys, we have no choice. We're gonna have to move away. Environmental activists don't use logic or reason.

Kyle: Michael Bay gets to keep making movies and Cartman gets his own theme park; there is no God.

John Edwards: But, I'm a psychic.
Stan: No, dude. You're a douche.
John Edwards: I'm not a douche. What if I really believed dead people talk to me?
Stan: Then, you're a stupid douche.