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Thread: Hi

  1. #1
    TanS
    Guest

    Hi

    Hey everyone. I just joined, thought I'd introduce myself to y'all.
    Live in Lahore (playfully dubbed LaWhore), the heart and soul of Pakistan. In high school. Final year. Yearning for some debate, being deprived of the same due to an innate, frustrating shyness. Not very erudite, but willing to learn.

    That's it I guess.

  2. #2
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Welcome on board Tan, I hope you enjoy the banter, debate, fun and 'heat'; and teach us a thing or three as well as learn a few things.

    بدهید ODN من امیددارم شماخیلی بداریدکه به غنا
    صلح ورفاه

    I am guessing, seeing as you live in Lahore, that you can get the drift of my schoolboy Farsi.
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin.
    Emitte lucem et veritatem - Send out light and truth.
    'Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt' - Julius Caesar (rough translation, 'Men will think what they want to think')
    Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? - Homer Simpson.

  3. #3
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Yo, What's good?
    Nothing will stand against the returning of He who hath died for us and His Father who breathed the breath of life into the dust that created man.
    Humbleness, Love, and loyalty to the word and his message.

    BF55.....

  4. #4
    TanS
    Guest

    Re: Hi

    Thanks fruitandnut. I can read the Farsi, can't understand it though... it's the same with Arabic. What does it mean?

  5. #5
    Owner / Senior Admin

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    Re: Hi

    TanS, where did you move to Pakistan from?

    Welcome to ODN btw. How did you find us?
    -=]Apokalupsis[=-
    Senior Administrator
    -------------------------

    I never considered a difference of opinion in politics, in religion, in philosophy, as cause for withdrawing from a friend. - Thomas Jefferson




  6. #6
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Quote Originally Posted by TanS View Post
    Thanks fruitandnut. I can read the Farsi, can't understand it though... it's the same with Arabic. What does it mean?
    Welcome to ODN - Peace and prosperity. I hope!
    "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are." - Anais Nin.
    Emitte lucem et veritatem - Send out light and truth.
    'Fere libenter homines id quod volunt credunt' - Julius Caesar (rough translation, 'Men will think what they want to think')
    Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? - Homer Simpson.

  7. #7
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Welcome! Here are some Pakistani jokes to get you started:

    1. American scientists dug 50 metres under the ground and discovered small pieces of copper. After studying these pieces for a long time America announced that the ancient Americans 25,000 years ago had a nationwide telephone network...
    Naturally the government of India was not that easily impressed. They ordered their own scientists to dig even deeper. 100 metres down, they found small pieces of Glass and they soon announced that the ancient Indians 35,000 years ago already had a nationwide fibrenet...
    Pakistani scientists were outraged. They dug 50, 100 and 200 metres underground but found absolutely nothing. They concluded that the ancient Pakistanis 55,000 years ago had Wireless (cellular) telephones.




    2. Through the center of Lahore theres the new Indo-Pak Samjhauta Express speeding along...
    In one compartment of the train there are four people. A beautiful young woman, on old matronly woman, an indian and a pakistani....
    Suddenly the train goes through a tunnel. It is completely dark, then is heard a loud kiss and an equally powerful slap. When the train exits the tunnel, the Indian is holding the side of his face and the Pakistani is grinning his face off.
    The old matronly woman thinks ' Now thats a fine young woman, the indian tries to steal a kiss in the tunnel and the lady slaps him one! '
    The young woman is thinking ' Now thats a strange indian, he'd rather kiss that old woman then me! '
    The indian is thinking ' Now that's a smart pakistani! , he steals the kiss i'm the one who gets slapped '
    The pakistani is thinking ' Gee i'm smart!! The train goes through the tunnel, i kiss the back of my hand and get away with slapping an indian'


    TWO AMERICAN EXECUTIVES AT IBM, USA.
    Alex : Hi John, you didn't come to work yesterday?

    John :Yeah, I was at the Pakistani Embassy trying to get a visa.

    Alex : Oh really! What happened? I've heard that these days they have
    become very strict?

    John : Yeah, but I managed to get it.

    Alex : How long did it take to get it stamped?

    John : Oh! It was a long queue. Bill Gates was standing in front of me and
    they really gave him a hard time the poor guy had even brought the
    property papers for his house in Seattle to show them that he will come
    back.
    I went there at 4 am to get in the queue and there were tons of people
    ahead
    of me!

    Alex : Really? In Pakistan, at the US Embassy it only takes an hour to get
    a visa.

    John : Yeah! But that's because who in Pakistan would want to come to the
    US except Americans who have now taken Pakistani nationality and want to
    bring their kids here.

    Alex : So, when are you leaving?

    John : As soon as I get my tickets from the company in Pakistan. I am so
    excited, I will be getting a chance to fly Pakistan International
    Airlines.
    Sort of a dream come true.

    Alex : How long are you planning to stay in Pakistan?

    John : What do you mean by how long? I will try and settle in Pakistan.
    My company has promised me that they will process my Green Book (Paki
    Passport)

    Alex : Really! You lucky person, man, it is very difficult to get a Green
    Book in Pakistan. Last year my cousin and his family went there on a
    tourist visa and they are now not coming back.

    John : Yeah, that's why, I am planning to marry an Pakistani girl there
    and then sponsor my parents and my brother and sister.

    Alex : But you can find lot of American girls in Karachi & Lahore.

    John : Yeah! but , I prefer Pakistani girls they are so much superior to
    ours and what a great tan!

    Alex : What city are you going to?

    John : Samarsatta, the company has it's office downtown, yeah, the salary
    is good but the cost of living is quite high because of all the people
    flocking to this high tech mecca.

    Alex : I hear the exchange rate is now $100 for a Rupee! That's just too
    much! What about Quetta & Peshawar?

    John : No idea, but it is cheaper than Samarsatta. It is like the world
    headquarters of technology.

    Alex : I hear that the quality of life there is incredible?

    John : Yes, you can get a BMW car for Rs 30,000, and a Mercedes for less
    than Rs 45,000, but my dream is to purchase Suzuki FX-800, which costs
    Rs.90,000 but what a sexy design, great curves and it purrs to the touch!

    Alex: By the way, which company are you going with?

    John : Jallalpurjattan Technologies, a pure Pakistani company,
    specialized in embedded software.

    Alex : Oh really! You are lucky to be able to work in a pure Pakistani
    company, they are really intelligent and unlike American body shops who
    have opened their fly by night outfits in Pakistan. Pakistani companies
    pay you even when you are on the bench. My friend Paul Allen used his
    bench
    time to visit the Makran coast, the most gorgeous place in Pakistan.

    John : Yeah man, you are right. I hope the US learns something from them
    and follows in their footsteps. It seems all we do is borrow more and more
    money from Askari Bank.

    Alex : How are you going to cope with their language?

    John : From my school days I've been learning Urdu. I always dreamed that
    one day I will go to Pakistan ever since my uncle brought me that T-shirt
    from Islamia College. At the consulate they tested my proficiency in Urdu
    and were quite impressed by my score in U-FEL (i.e., test of Urdu (like
    Tofel).

    Alex : Boy! You are so lucky!

    John : Yeah, I will be traveling in the world's fastest train, Tezgam,
    world's largest theme park, Charialand, and visit the famous Lollywood
    where you can see actors like, Nadeem, Shaan, Anjuman, Reema, and the not
    so sharif Barbara.

    Alex : You know, Gen. Musharraf is scheduled to visit us next year and I
    hear that he may increase the number of visas.

    John : That's true. Last month, Infosys - Naswar Khan Pakhtoon visited
    White House and donated Rs 20,000 for Infrastructure development at
    Silicon valley and has promised more if we follow the model of high tech
    city of
    Mian Chunnu and Bill Gates also got a chance of meeting him. Very lucky
    person.

    Alex : Will you be visiting Dave? I hear that he has made it big there and
    now has a beautiful house on the Lyari river in Karachi. Good luck John.

    John : Same to you Alex, and don't go to the Pakistani consulate in a
    Shalwar Kameez (Pak. Dress) because they will think you are too
    Pakistanized and may doubt that will ever comeback and your application
    may be rejected. And, yes, don't forget to say Asalam-o- Alaikum, aap
    kaisay hain" to the visa officer it will show them that you are a cultured
    person.



    How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
    Shoot the men who are pushing it.

    How do you disable a Pakistani tank ?
    Hide the wind-up key.

    How do you disable Pakistani missiles ?
    Cut the rubber band.

    Pakistani Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for
    the PAF. They want to all it the PMC, the Pakistani Mining Corps. This is
    because their planes end up in the ground anyway.

    Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of
    the hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles.This is so they can be more
    easily abandoned in enemy territory.

    Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes ?
    Neither has Pakistan.

    Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention ?
    It's a solar powered flashlight.

    Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention ?
    The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.

    How do you sink a Pakistani battleship ?
    Put it in water.

    Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi?
    The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.

    Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea ?
    Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.

    Did you hear about the other tragedy in Karachi ?
    There was a terrible power cut in Karachi's Four Square Shopping Mall.
    People were stuck on the escalator for four hours.

    Did you hear about the Pakistani family that froze to death outside a
    theatre ?
    They were waiting to see the movie "Closed for the winter".

    Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash ?
    The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.

    Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses ?
    They get it from chasing parked cars.

    Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
    Somebody stole the book.
    Last edited by Snoop; September 25th, 2007 at 08:54 AM.
    While laughing at others stupidity, you may want to contemplate your own comedic talents. (link)
    Disclaimer: This information is being provided for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only.

  8. #8
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Hey and welcome to ODN
    Show me the government that does not infringe upon anyone's rights, and I will no longer call myself an anarchist.~Jacob Halbrooks
    "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.~Benjamin Franklin
    "Go big or Go home"~ LoLo Bean

  9. #9
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Quote Originally Posted by FruitandNut View Post
    Welcome to ODN - Peace and prosperity. I hope!
    That's not at all what it means, Fruit....you've got a dirty translator...

    Oooooh I crack me up, sometimes.

    In any case, welcome Lan. Saw an article National Geographic about Pakistan. Seems you guys are the potential world maker/breaker for whether or not Radical Islam becomes REALLY prevalent.
    But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
    1 Peter 3:15-16

  10. #10
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    Re: Hi

    Salaam my friend, welcome!
    "Suffering lies not with inequality, but with dependence." -Voltaire
    "Fallacies do not cease to be fallacies because they become fashions. -G.K. Chesterton
    Also, if you think I've overlooked your post please shoot me a PM, I'm not intentionally ignoring you.


  11. #11
    Banned Indefinitely

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    Re: Hi

    Quote Originally Posted by TanS View Post
    Hey everyone. I just joined, thought I'd introduce myself to y'all.
    Live in Lahore (playfully dubbed LaWhore), the heart and soul of Pakistan. In high school. Final year. Yearning for some debate, being deprived of the same due to an innate, frustrating shyness. Not very erudite, but willing to learn.

    That's it I guess.
    Welcome.

    Do you find this article funny or insulting? I'm asking not to be sarcastic or mean. I just want to know your temperment.

  12. #12
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Welcome to ODN TanS....what does your name stand for?
    Hyde and Sylouette
    Married
    June 30, 2012

  13. #13
    ODN Community Regular

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    Re: Hi

    Fruity--
    بدهید ODN من امیددارم شماخیلی بداریدکه به غنا
    صلح ورفاه
    how IN THE WORLD did you type this?





    Welcome, TanS!!!!!!! Hope you like it here....
    I can only be who He allows me to be, I can only stand where He places me. 1Peter 5:6
    The true man wants two things: danger and play. For that reason he wants woman, as the most dangerous plaything. ---Friedrich Nietzsche

  14. #14
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    Re: Hi

    Welcome to ODN TanS

    @ Snoop: you forgot this Krusty the Clown-classic:

    What's the difference between pancake and Pakistan?
    - How many pancakes can say they were nuked by India.
    "For a man, there is only one rule. Whatever comes, face it on your feet." - Robert Jordan

  15. #15
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    Re: Hi

    Welcome! Nice to meet you, and I hope you find it interesting here!
    "As long as I have a voice, I will speak for those who have none".

  16. #16
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    Re: Hi

    TanS

    I'm sure you will have a great time here.
    O and

    Welcome to the THUNDER DOME!!!!
    To serve man.

 

 

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