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  1. #1
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    Sex before marriage

    For those who subscribe to that:

    1) Why?
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    4) What if they are awful in bed?

    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    I'd rather be screwed than stewed

  2. #2
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    yeah, i'm with you on that, i couldn't marry someone who was terrible in bed or didn't like to have sex very often...to me there are to kinds of people, people who like allot of sex, and people who don't like allot of sex...if 2 of these people marry without having sex first, i can bet that their marriage will not last very long unless it's a polygamous marriage....


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  3. #3
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    For those who subscribe to that:

    1) Why?
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    4) What if they are awful in bed?

    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    It's too late for me as well, but I wish I'd have waited.

    1.) Sex is an intimate act, and it should be reserved for relationships that are just as emotionally intimate. It should be with someone you trust, who loves you and whom you love. Marriage is simply a declaration of the existence of such love.

    2.) No, I would not.

    3.) No, I would not.

    4.) Then you work with them to improve their sexual performance.
    If I am capable of grasping God objectively, I do not believe, but precisely because I cannot do this I must believe. - Soren Kierkegaard
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  4. #4
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    1) Why?
    I had plently of sex........with human females.........long before I was married. I lost my virginity at 12 and was married at 19....

    I have been told that I am an excellent lover...that is what I wanted to be for the woman that was going to be stuck with me for he rest of my life. You do not become a great artist without practice.......

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    Yes I would, because I have a warranty.

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    No, probably not.

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    4) What if they are awful in bed?
    Then.........grr.........something I REALLY want to say.....but I will get another scary infraction for hurting feelings...

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    omg..I want to say something so bad here.....it is sooo hard to resist....but I am just so terrified of infractions.....

  5. #5
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by princefigs
    ...with human females...

    ...but I will get another scary infraction for hurting feelings...

    ...but I am just so terrified of infractions...
    Oh, princefigs, get over it. No one cares.

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup
    For those who subscribe to that:

    1) Why?
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    4) What if they are awful in bed?

    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    1.) Why not?
    2.) Maybe... probably only if I had driven other cars similar to it (different year models or something) and it was new.
    3.) Nope. Never.
    4.) Work with it. Or deal with it. Or, I guess, if it's that big of a deal... make your choice: love or lust.
    So...

    I finaggled my way into being able to do a Philosophy minor. I blame you, ODN.


  6. #6
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Hope View Post
    Oh, princefigs, get over it. No one cares.
    If you did not care, then why reply?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hope View Post
    1.) Why not?
    2.) Maybe... probably only if I had driven other cars similar to it (different year models or something) and it was new.
    3.) Nope. Never.
    4.) Work with it. Or deal with it. Or, I guess, if it's that big of a deal... make your choice: love or lust.
    hmm..how to avoid a spam infraction.......

    i got it.

    sex before marriage is an oxy-moron....for guys at least....in order to get to the love part, the sex part must come first!!!!!

  7. #7
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by princefigs View Post
    sex before marriage is an oxy-moron....for guys at least....in order to get to the love part, the sex part must come first!!!!!
    Sexism. A lot of women would say the same thing.
    I'd rather be screwed than stewed

  8. #8
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    Sexism. A lot of women would say the same thing.
    Quite obviously I do not really hold that opinion of all people........thus the !!!!!! I was taking a shot at an infraction I received because of "spam"

  9. #9
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by princefigs
    hmm..how to avoid a spam infraction.......

    i got it.
    Yup. Pretty much.

    Quote Originally Posted by princefigs
    sex before marriage is an oxy-moron....for guys at least....in order to get to the love part, the sex part must come first!!!!!
    I disagree. I would tend to side with Clive on this one: sex and marriage are (or, should be) independent expressions of love. Both of them are, have been, and will continue to be misused or misunderstood by some, but I believe that falling in love can precede sex or marriage. Marriage is an expression of dedication, and sex is an expression of intimacy, and love can lead to both of these without requiring either beforehand.
    So...

    I finaggled my way into being able to do a Philosophy minor. I blame you, ODN.


  10. #10
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    For those who subscribe to that:

    1) Why?
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    4) What if they are awful in bed?

    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    1. Sex is the most, private, intimate thing you can share another person, and the only place for it is in a permanent relationship with a person for whom you have utmost love, devotion and respect. Unless of course you wish to marry more than once or be unfaithful, in which case...seek therapy or something.

    2. If I really like it, why not?

    3. If you're making a parallel - it's a very bad one. You've seen the person, you just haven't been inside them (...I don't mean that ). And the house could still have problems even when you go inside and have a look.

    4. Is sex REALLY everything? Anyway, if it is...I guess, that's, uh, what adult stores are for...
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  11. #11
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    For those who subscribe to that:

    1) Why?
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    4) What if they are awful in bed?

    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    1. Because my religion does not allow it the other way around.
    2. No, I always test drive my cars before I buy them.
    3. No.
    4. I am living proof that a marriage without sex works. I never had sex before I got married at 23. In the 10+ years that I have been married, I never had an orgasm. And I still live you know.
    >>]Aspoestertjie[<<

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  12. #12
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup View Post
    I see no logical reason to wait until marriage for sex but open to any compelling ideas (too late for me though).
    It comes from Judeo-Christian dogma & ancient cultural practices where female virginity was linked to paternity. People used to see women as property and sleeping with a woman that you weren't married to was akin to "robbery"... because you were taking some father's property.

    So, the Jews spawned the Christians, Constantine makes Christianity the state religion to win over his political rivals. Rome spreads Christianity through out Europe, etc. etc. etc. So, this ancient idiocy about wanting to "save" oneself for marriage has endured. It truly is remarkable what idiocy people will cling to provided they're fed it at an early enough age.

  13. #13
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    So, the Jews spawned the Christians, Constantine makes Christianity the state religion to win over his political rivals. Rome spreads Christianity through out Europe, etc. etc. etc. So, this ancient idiocy about wanting to "save" oneself for marriage has endured. It truly is remarkable what idiocy people will cling to provided they're fed it at an early enough age.
    How odd that it somehow transformed into men being virgins; this doesn't fit in with your explanation at all. How do you account for it?
    If I am capable of grasping God objectively, I do not believe, but precisely because I cannot do this I must believe. - Soren Kierkegaard
    **** you, I won't do what you tell me

    HOLY CRAP MY BLOG IS AWESOME

  14. #14
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    You know, Clive, I don't know that Zhav is necessarily correct, that might have been part of why it was so important that women have their virginity checked as was customary at some points in history, before marriage... However, I would suggest that the whole thing comes from the fear of the spread of disease. If you weren't with anyone before you got married, than you're a lot less likely to have a disease and spread it. I think it goes along with the whole idea behind promiscuity in general, eating of pork, circumcision, etc...
    "And that, my lord, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped." ~ Monty Python


  15. #15
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by CliveStaples View Post
    It's too late for me as well, but I wish I'd have waited.

    1.) Sex is an intimate act, and it should be reserved for relationships that are just as emotionally intimate. It should be with someone you trust, who loves you and whom you love. Marriage is simply a declaration of the existence of such love.
    Sure, but love, trust, and intimacy comes before marriage. You can't declare it until it is there.

    And love and trust can happen without sex, but most people have a relationship first and then deep feelings develop.


    _________________________________ Post Merged _________________________________


    Quote Originally Posted by princefigs View Post
    Then.........grr.........something I REALLY want to say.....but I will get another scary infraction for hurting feelings...
    If you are actually concerned, send your proposed response to a moderator to make sure it's okay.

    But if your response is something other than a personal attack on someone, then go for it. If it's nothing but a personal attack, then who needs to see it?
    Last edited by mican333; April 16th, 2008 at 06:24 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  16. #16
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Zhavric View Post
    It comes from Judeo-Christian dogma & ancient cultural practices where female virginity was linked to paternity. People used to see women as property and sleeping with a woman that you weren't married to was akin to "robbery"... because you were taking some father's property.

    So, the Jews spawned the Christians, Constantine makes Christianity the state religion to win over his political rivals. Rome spreads Christianity through out Europe, etc. etc. etc. So, this ancient idiocy about wanting to "save" oneself for marriage has endured. It truly is remarkable what idiocy people will cling to provided they're fed it at an early enough age.
    Zhav, with all do respect. Will you rather marry a woman who had multiple sex partners before you met her, or a woman that is a virgin?

    I don't see anything wrong with the idea of waiting till you are married, do you?
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  17. #17
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Clive
    4.) Then you work with them to improve their sexual performance.
    Having sex for a long time now I can assure the virgins out there that some people will always, always suck in bed...

    Quote Originally Posted by Hope
    4.) Work with it. Or deal with it. Or, I guess, if it's that big of a deal... make your choice: love or lust.
    Deal with it? A large number of married couples end up dealing with it alright, by cheating...Sex is obviously a huge aspect in any romantic relationship. If it suffers, or sucks, expect negative results in some manner.

    Quote Originally Posted by liberaltruth
    1. Sex is the most, private, intimate thing you can share another person, and the only place for it is in a permanent relationship with a person for whom you have utmost love, devotion and respect. Unless of course you wish to marry more than once or be unfaithful, in which case...seek therapy or something.
    Correction: The only place for sex FOR YOU is in a permanent relationship.

    And there is a solution to being unfaithful without actually lying and cheating behind your partners back: have an open marriage/relationship/swinger.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie
    4. I am living proof that a marriage without sex works. I never had sex before I got married at 23. In the 10+ years that I have been married, I never had an orgasm. And I still live you know.
    I hardly consider 10+ years of marriage and never having an orgasm very successful. Does it work? Sure you're still together. But you have missed out on the ability to orgasm with a partner, I know that much.
    I'd rather be screwed than stewed

  18. #18
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie View Post
    Zhav, with all do respect. Will you rather marry a woman who had multiple sex partners before you met her, or a woman that is a virgin?
    I wouldn't want a slut, but I would want a woman who's had a few relationships.

    At my current age, about the minimum age of a woman I could take seriously would be in her late 20s. And I would say a woman who's reached that age and never had sex has serious issues. A woman who waits for marriage and was once married is alright, but if she had never been married, or had a boyfriend by her late 20s odds are there's something wrong.

    Now if I were in my teens or early twenties a girl about my age who's a virgin would be acceptable.

  19. #19
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    Quote Originally Posted by dogssup
    Deal with it? A large number of married couples end up dealing with it alright, by cheating...Sex is obviously a huge aspect in any romantic relationship. If it suffers, or sucks, expect negative results in some manner.
    Or sex isn't as much of a priority to them. And, at least in view of Aspoestertjie's story, it may not have such a huge effect on every relationship. Perhaps to you, sex is a preeminently important part of a relationship, but that doesn't make sex a make-it or break-it deal for everyone else.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie
    Will you rather marry a woman who had multiple sex partners before you met her, or a woman that is a virgin?
    It would depend on which one I loved. And personally, I doubt that sex history would be a huge priority in that "decision." Although the attitudes behind her previous escapades might have an effect...

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie
    I don't see anything wrong with the idea of waiting till you are married, do you?
    Not necessarily. I would say, however, that if there are many degrees of difference between the experience levels of the two partners then it might cause undue stress for one partner (i.e. the one who has experienced more, and therefore knows what they like, what they expect, etc.) or the other (i.e. the one with less experience, who might not feel that they are giving as much as the other, wishes they could do more, be freaked out by the other's prowess, etc.)
    So...

    I finaggled my way into being able to do a Philosophy minor. I blame you, ODN.


  20. #20
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    Re: Sex before marriage

    1) Why?
    Why what? Why everything below?
    2) Would you buy a car without test driving it?
    Absolutely, if it is brand new. I can show anyone how to get a vehicle for far under the MRSP. In 2000, I bought a Dodge Ram van-wagon for just over $18,000 when the MRSP was over about $22,000. I can tell anyone how I did it, it's actually simple. But not if you want to test-drive it first. For that you will pay the MRSP, give or take a few hundred dollars.
    3) Would you take out a 30 year mortgage on a house you've never seen?
    Nope! I designed and built my own home, giving me the perfect home (for my wife and I) as well as saving $$$$$. Our home was appraised at $180,000. We built it for around $165,000. (Having a credit score of 850 got us 5.9% interest on the loan including closing costs)
    4) What if they are awful in bed?
    I stopped counting my horizontal achievements at 50. (all human females, no dogs for me) Though I went on bagging many after that for years. I went celibate for two years because I knew the type of woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was not going to marry a male slut. When I did start dating my wife I made no move on her whatsoever. After about 7 months she seduced me. Also, if anyone else here had sex as many times and with many women as I have it doesn't matter if the partner is awful in bed. With all the sexual experiences I have had I can teach and there was plenty of time for that. Now of course my sex life is and never will be what it was. But it does serve it's purpose so far as intimacy goes. I've had enough sex for two lifetimes, so things changing a bit is fine with me. I used to scale mountains I can no longer scale, but the memories are like a treasure. When you are in your 50's you should have many wonderful memories. Same goes with being married for 18 years. Each year, (in spite of the tragedy that life gave) gets better than the year before with more precious moments than I can fathom.
    When the power of love becomes stronger than the love of power, there will be peace..........jimi hendrix.

 

 
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