Welcome guest, is this your first visit? Create Account now to join.
  • Login:

Welcome to the Online Debate Network.

If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 21
  1. #1
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    3,908
    Post Thanks / Like

    Cheating...truth or dare

    One of the biggest causes for relationships and marriages to fail is cheating. For the purpose of this thread I will give my opinion of what cheating is, feel free to correct me if I am wrong.

    Cheating occurs when one or sometimes both partners in a relationship have a physical and/or mental and/or emotional relationship with a third person.

    I heard so many people say before that they will never cheat. If cheating is what I said above, then more people are probably cheating without realizing it.

    My questions to you all are:-

    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?
    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat?
    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both?
    5. If you never cheated, will you admit that you will be strong enough to resist the temptation?
    6. If you never cheated before, what will cause you to cheat on your partner?
    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.

    Obviously this thread is for those who are brave enough to admit and tell the truth.
    >>]Aspoestertjie[<<

    ODN Rules

    Join our Facebook Page here!

  2. #2
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    2,209
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    I'll submit to the exercise only in the hope the thread can serve some information and guidance to those with their head spinning and having their finger on the trigger.

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie View Post
    "Cheating occurs when one or sometimes both partners in a relationship have a physical and/or mental and/or emotional relationship with a third person."
    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.

    The formulation seem to leave the possibility for a strictly mental relationship. I'm not sure how that can be cheating other then the obvious slippery slope it creates. But still, only mental, minus physical and emotional is not cheating in my opinion.

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?

    Yes

    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both?

    In agreement with both definition.

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.

    I think the addiction to heart thumps and the concoction of idyllic situation is pretty well evenly distributed between men and women.
    A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
    - Wayne Gretzky

  3. #3
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    7,671
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me. Cheating is only cheating if you get caught - otherwise, it's an indiscretion.
    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner? Many times. I'm cheating right now.
    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat? N/A
    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both? Both.
    5. If you never cheated, will you admit that you will be strong enough to resist the temptation? N/A
    6. If you never cheated before, what will cause you to cheat on your partner? N/A
    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice. Equal - cheating has no gender boundries.
    Last edited by Snoop; June 14th, 2008 at 03:41 PM.
    While laughing at others stupidity, you may want to contemplate your own comedic talents. (link)
    Disclaimer: This information is being provided for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only.

  4. #4
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    3,908
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Vandaler View Post
    I'll submit to the exercise only in the hope the thread can serve some information and guidance to those with their head spinning and having their finger on the trigger.
    You are one brave man.

    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.

    The formulation seem to leave the possibility for a strictly mental relationship. I'm not sure how that can be cheating other then the obvious slippery slope it creates. But still, only mental, minus physical and emotional is not cheating in my opinion.
    You made a valid point.

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?

    Yes
    Have you before you cheated, ever thought that it will not happen to you? Considering my OP. I stated many people think they are untouchable, did you think that way?

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.

    I think the addiction to heart thumps and the concoction of idyllic situation is pretty well evenly distributed between men and women.
    Interesting perspective. Describing it as an addiction adds an interesting dimension to this situation.

    Do you think such an addiction can be cured? Can one go as far as to classify it as a medical condition?

    Thanks for being honest Vandaler. My answers to my own questions are as follows:-

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?

    I don't like being intellectually dishonest, so I will admit to have cheated before.

    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat?

    I have been presented with multiple opportunities in the past, one proved to be the ultimate test. Which I failed according to my own definition.

    5. If you never cheated, will you admit that you will be strong enough to resist the temptation?

    I was always thinking, never me. Something like this will never happen to me, yet it did.

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.

    I think men are more likely to cheat than women, because they have a higher sexual urge than women.

    You all know the following phrase: "If a man gets it on a plate for free, he will take it."

    Is the above statement true for most men? I heard other members on this board saying that women are in this era more open about their sexual relationships (that is putting it mild).


    _________________________________ Post Merged _________________________________


    Quote Originally Posted by Snoop View Post
    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me. Cheating is only cheating if you get caught - otherwise, it's an indiscretion.
    I disagree Snoop. Cheating is cheating, if you get caught or not. This is where your conscience start playing a role.

    If you say it is only an indiscretion, does it mean while you do it, you don't feel guilty at all?

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner? Many times. I'm cheating right now.
    If you say you are cheating right now Snoop? Does it mean in person, is the relationship physical?

    Another interesting statement I heard is that you can have a relationship with someone over the internet too? So that will be cheating on the mental and emotional side of a relationship and not the physical.

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice. Equal - cheating has no gender boundaries.
    Interesting...
    Last edited by Aspoestertjie; June 14th, 2008 at 03:48 PM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
    >>]Aspoestertjie[<<

    ODN Rules

    Join our Facebook Page here!

  5. #5
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    2,209
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie View Post
    Have you before you cheated, ever thought that it will not happen to you? Considering my OP. I stated many people think they are untouchable, did you think that way?
    Glad you ask and yes I did think that way.

    The hardest question one can ask himself and get a straight answer is;

    Is there a part in you that want to get caught ?

    If you feel there might be even a slightest possibility that it's the case, I think there are better ways to deal with your situation then cheating.

    Do you think such an addiction can be cured? Can one go as far as to classify it as a medical condition?
    I suppose it can be for those who just can't help themselves in spite of all the problems it causes them. I don't know about a medical condition, seem a bit extreme, but then again, there are extreme cases. Can those considered addicted be cured ? Sure yes, we are masters of ourselves... the real question to those who qualify as addicted is... do they want to be cured.
    A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
    - Wayne Gretzky

  6. #6
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    7,671
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    If you say it is only an indiscretion, does it mean while you do it, you don't feel guilty at all? Nope - no guilt at all. You see, some people are allowed to cheat - I'm one of them.

    If you say you are cheating right now Snoop? Does it mean in person, is the relationship physical? Non-physical (until I serve a few coctails).

    Another interesting statement I heard is that you can have a relationship with someone over the internet too? So that will be cheating on the mental and emotional side of a relationship and not the physical. The first step towards physically cheating is mental/emotional cheating. I'm sure there are people who cheat on the internet because the other person encourages them - in that case, they are both cheating.
    While laughing at others stupidity, you may want to contemplate your own comedic talents. (link)
    Disclaimer: This information is being provided for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only.

  7. #7
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    2,209
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Snoop View Post
    If you say it is only an indiscretion, does it mean while you do it, you don't feel guilty at all? Nope - no guilt at all. You see, some people are allowed to cheat - I'm one of them.
    Allowed to cheat... now there is an oxymoron

    A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
    - Wayne Gretzky

  8. #8
    Will ADMIN 4 Gas Money

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY, USA
    Posts
    1,501
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.

    I can't say emotion and mental relationships with other people are 'cheating' in the traditional sense of the word. When you take a marriage vow you don't forgo the ability to have mental and emotional relationships with other people, and thus we maintain our friendships. We do, however, forgo physical relationships with other people. That is the traditional definition of cheating.

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?

    No.

    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat?

    I'd say I have, but I never have let it get far enough along to know for sure, I suppose.

    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both?

    It would be both.

    5. If you never cheated, will you admit that you will be strong enough to resist the temptation?

    Yes.

    6. If you never cheated before, what will cause you to cheat on your partner?

    I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would cheat on my wife. Not for revenge if she ever did that to me, not out of lust, nothing. I wouldn't do it.

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.

    Men, statistics seem to show us that's the case.
    -= Phrique =-

    I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew.
    - The Beastie Boys

  9. #9
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    3,908
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Snoop View Post
    If you say it is only an indiscretion, does it mean while you do it, you don't feel guilty at all? Nope - no guilt at all. You see, some people are allowed to cheat - I'm one of them.
    Interesting way of thinking Snoop. I will not ask the obvious question but the opposite one in this case. When is someone not allowed to cheat?

    I would say that one should not cheat at all. Even if your partner is doing it as well, there is no valid reason for cheating.

    If you say you are cheating right now Snoop? Does it mean in person, is the relationship physical? Non-physical (until I serve a few coctails).
    Do you think adding alcohol to the equation causes people to cheat more easily?

    Another interesting statement I heard is that you can have a relationship with someone over the internet too? So that will be cheating on the mental and emotional side of a relationship and not the physical. The first step towards physically cheating is mental/emotional cheating. I'm sure there are people who cheat on the internet because the other person encourages them - in that case, they are both cheating.
    [/QUOTE]

    Not necessarily. It depends if both are involved in relationships. Do you consider a single woman as cheating when she has a relationship with a married man? Technically she is not cheating anybody, the married man is cheating his wife.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vandaler View Post
    Glad you ask and yes I did think that way.

    The hardest question one can ask himself and get a straight answer is;

    Is there a part in you that want to get caught ?

    If you feel there might be even a slightest possibility that it's the case, I think there are better ways to deal with your situation then cheating.
    I agree with you in this case. I think one might want to be caught if you don't see a way out of your current relationship. When you don't want to be caught you can say the person just likes having his bread buttered on both sides.

    However it is easy to pass judgment on people who do these things, one should obviously remember that it takes two to tango.

    Obviously cheating starts because of either the lack of physical contact or emotional contact with your partner. So to make up for that you cheat. So the right thing to do is to rather communicate your feelings with your partner, yet so many of us don't do that.

    That brings up my next point. The digital era we live in today, makes cheating a lot easier than it was in the non-digital era. Like Snoop indicated, cheating starts with mental/emotional contact with a third party. We live in the age of communication and we have ample opportunity to communicate with other people, either via internet or via cellphones.

    I suppose it can be for those who just can't help themselves in spite of all the problems it causes them. I don't know about a medical condition, seem a bit extreme, but then again, there are extreme cases. Can those considered addicted be cured ? Sure yes, we are masters of ourselves... the real question to those who qualify as addicted is... do they want to be cured.
    It pretty much sounds exactly like substance abuse. Now considering that alcohol in many situations causes families to part and people to suffer, so does cheating. Yet I doubt if there are any developed programmes to help people addicted to cheating. As I truly believe one can get addicted to it.

    Quote Originally Posted by phrique View Post
    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.

    I can't say emotion and mental relationships with other people are 'cheating' in the traditional sense of the word. When you take a marriage vow you don't forgo the ability to have mental and emotional relationships with other people, and thus we maintain our friendships. We do, however, forgo physical relationships with other people. That is the traditional definition of cheating.
    Maybe not so much the mental but I would say you deny the power of emotion. If you find yourself sharing your emotions more with a third person and not with your partner you are cheating. The traditional definition of cheating does indicate physical, but personally I would prefer my husband to rather have a physical relationship and feel nothing for the other person, as to him actually feel something and share his emotions with this other person. So what I am trying to say is that cheating only for sex is safer than cheating with emotion as well. The chance of a relationship failing when both people are physical and emotional dependent on each other is bigger when one only cheats for the physical fulfillment.

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?

    No.
    Very good then. Can you say you never shared more of your emotional feelings with another person outside your current relationship?

    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat?

    I'd say I have, but I never have let it get far enough along to know for sure, I suppose.
    Ah you see now. You said you never cheated, yet you had the opportunity or did not let it go that far.

    From a Christian perspective, we have to admit that even thinking about someone else is cheating. Right or wrong?

    When exactly does a platonic relationship become a more intimate relationship in your point of view?

    6. If you never cheated before, what will cause you to cheat on your partner?

    I cannot imagine a scenario in which I would cheat on my wife. Not for revenge if she ever did that to me, not out of lust, nothing. I wouldn't do it.
    This is where I beg to differ. One can never say never. That was the mistake I made too and maybe you feel sure of yourself now, but when lets say your relationship with your wife deteriorates to such a degree that you find nothing positive with it, will you still be able to resist?

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.

    Men, statistics seem to show us that's the case.
    I agree with you here.
    >>]Aspoestertjie[<<

    ODN Rules

    Join our Facebook Page here!

  10. #10
    Registered User

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Puyallup, WA
    Posts
    230
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie
    My questions to you all are:-

    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.
    Cheating is the breaking of agreed upon restrictions within a relationship. This can relate to every facet of relationships, not just sexual... such as spending money not allocated in the household budget without informing your partner (if a budget is an agreed upon restriction inherent in the relationship).

    As for your definition of cheating:

    Cheating occurs when one or sometimes both partners in a relationship have a physical and/or mental and/or emotional relationship with a third person.
    It seems to be too vague to be of use. Does loving a step-mother as much as a biological mother count as cheating? It would certainly qualify as having an emotional connection with another person within the same category of relationship. You can even apply your definition to parents of multiple children, groups of friends, co-workers, etc. And I don't think the problem would be as easily solved as just putting "romantic" as a descriptor of relationships - since romance doesn't necessitate "mono-commitment."

    Next question:
    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?
    No, I have never broken the agreed upon restrictions.

    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat?
    I have been presented opportunities to break those restrictions I have within my relationships.

    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both?
    Until you have a more accurate description of cheating, I can't really compare the two. So I'll hold off answering this one.

    5. If you never cheated, will you admit that you will be strong enough to resist the temptation?
    Because I agreed with the relationship restrictions in the first place, I'm quite confident in my ability to "resist the temptation." It's the difference between freely chosen restrictions, and imposed rules.

    6. If you never cheated before, what will cause you to cheat on your partner?
    It is more likely that the restrictions would be changed through discussion before I would ever break one.

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.
    In my opinion, cheating occurs because expectations weren't openly discussed when defining the relationship. Both men and women have ... difficulties ... expressing themselves to the other gender, for a variety of reasons that many a self-help book has tried to explain. Therefore, both genders are equally at risk to "cheat."
    “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
    ~Carl Gustav Jung
    "When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane."
    ~Hermann Hesse

  11. #11
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Montreal, Canada
    Posts
    2,209
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie View Post
    That brings up my next point. The digital era we live in today, makes cheating a lot easier than it was in the non-digital era. Like Snoop indicated, cheating starts with mental/emotional contact with a third party. We live in the age of communication and we have ample opportunity to communicate with other people, either via internet or via cellphones.
    Very true... there is where those idyllic relation take root so effectively. In those type of relation, reality only step in after a period of "perfection"... In those periods of courting, you don't get to virtually step in gums, get sick on Mexican food or crash into closed patio doors. Everything seem perfect like in a book and that illusion is carefully nurtured.
    A good hockey player plays where the puck is. A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
    - Wayne Gretzky

  12. #12
    Will ADMIN 4 Gas Money

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY, USA
    Posts
    1,501
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Very good then. Can you say you never shared more of your emotional feelings with another person outside your current relationship?
    Yes, I can say that--I've never been more emotionally attached to anyone at any time more than my wife.

    Ah you see now. You said you never cheated, yet you had the opportunity or did not let it go that far.

    From a Christian perspective, we have to admit that even thinking about someone else is cheating. Right or wrong?
    Thoughts don't hurt people, and anyway, by me saying I've had the opportunity I meant others were making passes at me, not the other way around.

    When exactly does a platonic relationship become a more intimate relationship in your point of view?
    When physical contact initiates.


    This is where I beg to differ. One can never say never. That was the mistake I made too and maybe you feel sure of yourself now, but when lets say your relationship with your wife deteriorates to such a degree that you find nothing positive with it, will you still be able to resist?
    I just can't see it happening. I agree that one can never say never, but it's unfathomable to me. I've been with her like half my life now and I'm 30 years old. It's unimaginable.
    -= Phrique =-

    I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew.
    - The Beastie Boys

  13. #13
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    3,908
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Socialgremlin View Post
    Cheating is the breaking of agreed upon restrictions within a relationship. This can relate to every facet of relationships, not just sexual... such as spending money not allocated in the household budget without informing your partner (if a budget is an agreed upon restriction inherent in the relationship).
    If you accept this, then even more people are cheating. Although a budget is probably in most households and agreed upon restriction, many partners don't discuss spending their budget. I for one don't consult my husband when I want to buy something, yet we do manage the budget together.

    It seems to be too vague to be of use. Does loving a step-mother as much as a biological mother count as cheating? It would certainly qualify as having an emotional connection with another person within the same category of relationship. You can even apply your definition to parents of multiple children, groups of friends, co-workers, etc. And I don't think the problem would be as easily solved as just putting "romantic" as a descriptor of relationships - since romance doesn't necessitate "mono-commitment."
    For the purpose of this thread, the definition is for a married couple or two people in a sexual relationship. You can not say loving your step mother as much as a biological mother count as cheating, because you are not married to one of them or even have a sexual relationship with them (hope so anyway).

    No, I have never broken the agreed upon restrictions.
    Gremlin when you answer these questions, do you answer them as a person having a relationship with one or more than one partner?

    A bigger percentage of the population obviously have a one to one relationship.

    Cheating probably gets a whole new meaning when you extend it over more than one approved relationship at a time, and obviously the rules will not be as strict as it is within a traditional marriage or relationship.

    Until you have a more accurate description of cheating, I can't really compare the two. So I'll hold off answering this one.
    So let me try this.

    In the traditional setting of one on one relationships, cheating occurs when one or both partners in a sexual relationship break agreed upon restrictions by either breaking a household rule and/or having a physical and/or emotional relationship with a third person.

    Because I agreed with the relationship restrictions in the first place, I'm quite confident in my ability to "resist the temptation." It's the difference between freely chosen restrictions, and imposed rules.
    Are you of opinion that people in a polygamist relationship is not prone to cheating?

    It is more likely that the restrictions would be changed through discussion before I would ever break one.
    Very well.

    In my opinion, cheating occurs because expectations weren't openly discussed when defining the relationship. Both men and women have ... difficulties ... expressing themselves to the other gender, for a variety of reasons that many a self-help book has tried to explain. Therefore, both genders are equally at risk to "cheat."
    So you disagree with my opinion that men have a higher sexual urge than women and therefore is more likely to cheat?


    _________________________________ Post Merged _________________________________


    Quote Originally Posted by phrique View Post
    Yes, I can say that--I've never been more emotionally attached to anyone at any time more than my wife.

    Thoughts don't hurt people, and anyway, by me saying I've had the opportunity I meant others were making passes at me, not the other way around.
    You are a lucky man phrique.

    When physical contact initiates.
    I disagree. The moment a person shares emotional feelings with a third person (of the opposite sex), in the hope to cry on his/her shoulder, that person is cheating and the platonic relationship extends to something much deeper than just a platonic relationship.
    Last edited by Aspoestertjie; June 15th, 2008 at 04:21 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost
    >>]Aspoestertjie[<<

    ODN Rules

    Join our Facebook Page here!

  14. #14
    Registered User

    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    Location
    Puyallup, WA
    Posts
    230
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie
    If you accept this, then even more people are cheating.
    By sheer number, yes my definition implies a greater amount of "cheating." By percentage, I would argue that my definition lowers "cheating" by increasing the amount of "qualities" (financial, emotional, sexual, organizational, etc.) that is looked at. But that is really not the point of this thread I think.

    For the purpose of this thread, the definition is for a married couple or two people in a sexual relationship.
    I'm both at the same time. Kinda makes my perspective more interesting, doesn't it? But I certainly don't think that people who are only "dating" and have sex with other people that are "dating" them in return can constitute cheating... unless they agreed it was an exclusive relationship. Thus, my definition still seems best - it's only cheating if the "rules" are agreed upon in the first place.

    Gremlin when you answer these questions, do you answer them as a person having a relationship with one or more than one partner?

    A bigger percentage of the population obviously have a one to one relationship.

    Cheating probably gets a whole new meaning when you extend it over more than one approved relationship at a time, and obviously the rules will not be as strict as it is within a traditional marriage or relationship.
    Can I expect to answer them any other way? You are monogamous, and I wouldn't expect you to try to answer these questions as a polyamorous individual. But my definition works for both cases - as a married Christian, you stood up, took a vow to forsake all others (if you gave the typical vows, I am assuming that part), and thus a rule is established. Thus if you or your husband were intimate with another person, it's cheating due to the accepted "rule" of your relationship being broken.

    Appeals to Majority have no interest to me. It doesn't matter if most of the world is one particular way.

    And you are in error. The rules in a polyamorous relationship are as strict as the so-called "traditional" relationships (although go back far enough, and polygamy was a traditional relationship in many cultures, including Judeo-Christian). The rules are just different. Everyone's rules are different, with common elements redefined to fit their emotional and physical needs.

    In the traditional setting of one on one relationships, cheating occurs when one or both partners in a sexual relationship break agreed upon restrictions by either breaking a household rule and/or having a physical and/or emotional relationship with a third person.
    So you're essentially agreeing with my definition, which was more universal, and are applying it to a traditional setting - essentially excluding my ability to have a conversation about the topic of "traditional cheating" since I am not in a "traditional" relationship. So you are more specific, but it does preclude me actually answering the question of if I was cheating according to your definition, because I'm not included in your target group.

    You'd probably say I was cheating simply because I wasn't in a traditional marriage. I say I am not cheating because I don't break the established rules of my marriage. That's about as far as we can go.

    Are you of opinion that people in a polygamist relationship is not prone to cheating?
    That was quite a leap in logic. Anyone can be prone to cheating against a rule that they didn't "freely choose." Polyamorists are just as flawed as other people... sometimes they just accept a relationship rule because they don't want to "fight over it anymore." That rule eventually becomes a nuisance to them, and if they aren't honest about bringing the rule back up for discussion, they could cheat.

    I'm fairly certain that it works the same in "traditional" relationships. You cheat because you don't like the rule and don't want to just be honest with your partner about it. When honesty is seen as difficult, all humans are susceptible to cheating.

    So you disagree with my opinion that men have a higher sexual urge than women and therefore is more likely to cheat?
    Most assuredly. A higher sexual urge doesn't infer a higher probability of cheating. And you'd have to break things down according to age as well... as sexual drive in woman over 40 is higher than sexual drive in men over 40. So the most your opinion would say is that 18 year old men are more likely to cheat than 18 year old women, and 40 year old women are more likely to cheat than 40 year old men. So the numbers wouldn't be as clear cut as you'd like... I think it all balances out and we are all as likely to be tempted to break the rules.
    “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
    ~Carl Gustav Jung
    "When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane."
    ~Hermann Hesse

  15. #15
    Will ADMIN 4 Gas Money

    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY, USA
    Posts
    1,501
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    I disagree. The moment a person shares emotional feelings with a third person (of the opposite sex), in the hope to cry on his/her shoulder, that person is cheating and the platonic relationship extends to something much deeper than just a platonic relationship.
    I just can't get behind that. I think it would depend on the long term nature of the situation. I do think that if in the long term one of the people in a relationship is confiding with/more emotionally attached to another person than the one he or she is in a relationship with then yeah, that is probably cheating in a way, but a one time thing? No way. People have friends of the opposite sex, they confide in them, they tell them what they're feeling. There's nothing wrong with that. It wouldn't bother me if my wife confided in one of her male friends as long as she was willing to talk to me about the situation as well and it wasn't a situation wherein she was continually going to another person instead of me.
    -= Phrique =-

    I've got mad hits like I was Rod Carew.
    - The Beastie Boys

  16. #16
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    7,671
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie View Post
    Interesting way of thinking Snoop. I will not ask the obvious question but the opposite one in this case. When is someone not allowed to cheat?

    I would say that one should not cheat at all.
    I have a confession to make - I'm not a cheater except in online games like chess and Scrabble. I do not condone cheating on my spouse and never have. However, there comes a time in a marriage where you separate and live apart - yet you're still married. That's the case in my part so I don't feel like it's cheating if I date other women or if I have casual sex.
    While laughing at others stupidity, you may want to contemplate your own comedic talents. (link)
    Disclaimer: This information is being provided for informational, educational, and entertainment purposes only.

  17. #17
    Banned Indefinitely

    Join Date
    Aug 2004
    Posts
    9,345
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    I'm going to let the women in this thread in on a little secret about why guys cheat.

    NOTE: This is not an excuse. What I'm about to say doesn't make it right. It's just to help you understand.

    That being said...

    Guys will go to (or at least be tempted by) any woman who's willing to do more in the sack than his current woman. Guys will even go to woman who aren't as attractive as their girlfriend/spouse for this. That's a big reason for why guys cheat: finding women who will give them what they want when they want it.

  18. #18
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    I'm lost
    Posts
    3,026
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Quote Originally Posted by Aspoestertjie View Post
    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.
    I only consider it cheating if you have a physical relationship in any type of way other then a friendship.. I don't think that playing with the webcam with someone else is cheating on girl/boyfriend/spouse or anything like that.. Only if there is a physical relationship where you can touch them...
    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?
    yes


    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both?
    Mine and partially yours.


    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.
    These days I think it is about the same... I think women cheat just as much as men if not more and my reasons are from personal experience from men and women I know. Women these days tend to enjoy sex just as much as men and will get the good at all costs

    Obviously this thread is for those who are brave enough to admit and tell the truth.
    I'll admit I have cheated on more then one occasion.. Why be bashful about it. Why regret anything you did in the past because while you were doing it you were having one hell of a time doing it and doesn't just about everyone love having fun?
    Show me the government that does not infringe upon anyone's rights, and I will no longer call myself an anarchist.~Jacob Halbrooks
    "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.~Benjamin Franklin
    "Go big or Go home"~ LoLo Bean

  19. #19
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Feb 2004
    Location
    The Bunny Ranch
    Posts
    2,680
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    Cheating is doing or saying anything with another person that you would not do in front of the person you are with.
    I do not believe there is one gender that does it more often than not...I belive there is one that gets caught more often.

  20. #20
    ODN Community Regular

    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    I'm not from here, NV
    Posts
    2,267
    Post Thanks / Like

    Re: Cheating...truth or dare

    1. Define cheating in your own words if you differ from me.
    Pretty much the same. If you can't say it or do it in front of me? Then perhaps you shouldn't be doing what you're doing.

    2. Did you ever cheat on your partner?
    Current? No

    3. If you never have cheated, were you ever presented with an opportunity to cheat?
    n/a

    4. If you did, was it in your opinion cheating according to your definition, my definition or both?
    n/a

    5. If you never cheated, will you admit that you will be strong enough to resist the temptation?
    I can resist the temptation when the other person is worth resisting the temptation.

    6. If you never cheated before, what will cause you to cheat on your partner?
    n/a

    7. In your opinion, who cheats the most, men or women? And please state your reasons for your choice.
    I'm saying, based off of complete anecdote that it's about 50/50.
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~Bertrand Russell

 

 
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Flaws of Relative Truth (Relativism)
    By Apokalupsis in forum Philosophical Debates
    Replies: 37
    Last Post: November 26th, 2010, 07:44 PM
  2. Truth
    By Trendem in forum Philosophical Debates
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: August 26th, 2006, 01:53 PM
  3. Truth: The Argument for Correspondence and Absolutism
    By Apokalupsis in forum Philosophical Debates
    Replies: 238
    Last Post: February 4th, 2006, 04:06 AM
  4. Debating - Opinion or Fact?
    By IceWarm in forum Hypothetical Debates
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: August 7th, 2005, 12:11 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •