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  1. #1
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    What is Marriage?

    So what is marriage all about? What is its purpose? Why have it? Why should anyone deserve it?

    I know....its a lot of very broad questions, but Im curious as to what people think is the heart of marriage? Perhaps its just because its June and it seems like half the people I know are getting married.
    I typically cite original research papers and reviews that are available only to a personal or institutional subscriptional. If you wish a PDF copy of the papers I cite, send me a request.

  2. #2
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Marriage can be living hell if you're single (envy and tax disadvantages being the main reasons) or vice versa (paradise).

    Marriage can be living hell if you're married (just ask the millions who went through a divorce) - call it a learning experience.

    In other words, marriage is what you make it and how you take it. Marriage is also a way to help you from feeling lonley; raising a family; etc. It also tells other possible mates that you are already taken - which could be a good thing or a bad thing.
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  3. #3
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    I think marriage is a sacret union between two people that share a great love. Yes, there is companionship, but to share a strong connection with someone and showing the world how much you love each other by the symbol of two rings is beautiful.

  4. #4
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Welcome Dolphin Girl.

    Now then, to the meat of the thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chad
    So what is marriage all about?
    It depends on how you wish to define it. If you want the legal thing, it's two people getting contractly bound in an agreement not to date other people so that they may share in tax benefits and such. Spiritually it's the binding of two people. Survivally, it's often times a guarantee to have your seed passed on. Unless you're infertile, then it\s useless.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chad
    What is its purpose?
    Also varies. Legally, to provide benefits that people would not otherwise have. Spiritually, it's to bind two entities in perfect union to share the same spirit.(I think), with regards to Survival, it's merely a way of ensuring that your seed lives on.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chad
    Why have it?
    See above.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chad
    Why should anyone deserve it?
    Interesting question. Who's to say we HAVE to deserve it?
    But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.
    1 Peter 3:15-16

  5. #5
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Marriage is a social convention which denotes some type of relationship. The basis of that relationship differs from community to community.
    The U.S. is currently enduring a zombie apocalypse. However, in a strange twist, the zombie's are starving.

  6. #6
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by chadn737
    So what is marriage all about? What is its purpose? Why have it? Why should anyone deserve it?

    I know....its a lot of very broad questions, but Im curious as to what people think is the heart of marriage? Perhaps its just because its June and it seems like half the people I know are getting married.
    I don't think the question is whether people deserve marriage, such a question (to me) is not really an issue. Marriage is not something based on actions to determine whether or not they deserve it. I see marriage as completing one's self, finding that mate that fills all the cracks in your life, to mold into a sense of oneness.

    Finding that one, is almost kind of looking for yourself, the part of you that was missing, and discover it in someone else. I think marriage is also a way to learn and to grow, to see the other side of the coin, to see that we all have flaws, and that we all need someone. What is a life without love? A life without love is death, don't believe me? Go look in the backalleys, under the bridges, look in their faces, and tell me, what do those people seek? Money? Fortune? Power? No, what those people seek, is love. Now for those of you that believe in Jesus, it can also be seen that the Love that Jesus gave us, the sacrifice of himself gave us life. Without that Love, we are faced with spiritual death.

    Maybe I'm wrong, but this is what I know.
    "With His dying breath... He saved me, with His wounds... He healed me, with His life... He died for me, although I never met Him, He remembered... me."

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  7. #7
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    What is marriage?

    Expensive.

    It is obviously a social institution designed to create a nuclear family. It is also defined differently by different cultures. Beyond that, you got me.
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  8. #8
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by ShadowKnight
    I don't think the question is whether people deserve marriage, such a question (to me) is not really an issue. Marriage is not something based on actions to determine whether or not they deserve it. I see marriage as completing one's self, finding that mate that fills all the cracks in your life, to mold into a sense of oneness.
    Amen. Unfortunately society seems to be fond of dictating who an individual can choose to "fill all the cracks in his life" and "mold into a sense of oneness".

  9. #9
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Apparently, whatever marriage happens to be, it's greatly threatened by including extra people in it.

  10. #10
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Marriage is a legal binding contract for a relationship. I guess I don't think marriage has this great meaning and represents relationships. People have taken marriage stomped on it, and torn it to pieces. Marrying, and divorcing left and right. People marrying into screwed up relationships, shot gun weddings cause your girlfriend got pregnant.

    So to me at this point it is a contract people go into loosely without understanding how to have a functional realtionship who more than likely are going to later divorce, get remarried again and divorce.

    The only reason I see people marry are because of insurance, and things of that nature. If your relationship somehow changed by signing a $40.00 piece of paper, you might want to reconsider the whole marriage ordeal.

    Most people don't deserve to be married. If all you are going to do is make light of the contract and continue to back out of it, time and time again you shouldn't be allowed to continually get a new one.
    Last edited by Jamie; July 14th, 2005 at 07:06 AM.
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~Bertrand Russell

  11. #11
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Hmmm.....and here I thought this thread was dead and dead for good.
    I typically cite original research papers and reviews that are available only to a personal or institutional subscriptional. If you wish a PDF copy of the papers I cite, send me a request.

  12. #12
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    I have seen some interesting views in this thread...here are mine

    Marriage is a covenant, NOT a contract - A contract is an agreement between 2 people who DON'T trust each other and both of them are trying to get something out of the agreement for themselves....a covenant is a promise between 2 people who TRUST each other and are promising to GIVE each other something

    Marriage is about personal holiness, NOT personal happiness - Marriage should be 2 people who love each other trying to grow closer to God each day, and in this process they will grow closer to each other

    Marriage is about 2 people trying 100% of the time to please each other. You shouldn't get married if you are looking for someone to make you happy, because more than likely you are marrying someone who is looking for YOU to make them happy...this is a very selfish notion, rather, both of you should be trying 100% of the time to please each other and make each other happy.

    Here is an analogy....let's say love and happiness is water....you get married because you want the other person to make you happy, your partner gets married for the same reason...so at the beginning of that marriage you give that person a big glass of "water" (love and happiness) and they do likewise...over the course of your marriage with this attitude you will continue to drink out of the cup your partner gave you and you are both going to end up with an empty glass.....now say you get married because YOU want to take care of and make the other person happy, your partner gets married to you for the same reason, at the beginning of the marriage you both start out with an empty glass, over the course of that marriage that glass will become more and more full of "water" (love and happiness)....

    That's my basic take on marraige!
    Last edited by nanderson; July 14th, 2005 at 11:14 AM.
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    We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
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  13. #13
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by nanderson
    Marriage is about personal holiness, NOT personal happiness - Marraige should be 2 people who love each other trying to grow closer to God each day, and in this process they will grow closer to each other
    Interesting view indeed. So you think marriage should just be a "Christian thing"?

  14. #14
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trendem
    Interesting view indeed. So you think marriage should just be a "Christian thing"?

    Nope, non-Christians can marry, I just don't think they will have as fullfilling a marriage as Christians
    Nandy For World Domination Clan
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  15. #15
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Ah Trendem you got it before I could. So should people who not believe in gd be allowed to marry?

    Marriage is a covenant, NOT a contract - A contract is an agreement between 2 people who DON'T trust each other and both of them are trying to get something out of the agreement for themselves....a covenant is an agreement between 2 people who TRUST each other and are putting something into the argreement
    Contracts usually have nothing to do about trust but outline specific details (or in the case of marriage not so specific details) of an agreement. Would you sign a contract with someone you didn't trust? I know I wouldn't. Anyway marriage is both a contract and covenant. Heck by marriage very definition it is a contract.

    Marriage is about 2 people trying 100% of the time to please each other. You shouldn't get married if you are looking for someone to make you happy, because more than likely you are marrying someone who is looking for YOU to make them happy...this is a very selfish notion, rather, both of you should be trying 100% of the time to please each other and make each other happy.
    That's what a relationship is. You should be doing that regardless if you are married or not.
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~Bertrand Russell

  16. #16
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie
    Ah Trendem you got it before I could. So should people who not believe in gd be allowed to marry?
    Jamie, read post #14, I never even came close to saying that! I think non-Christians can marry, I just don't think it will be as fullfilling as a Christian marriage, IT'S JUST MY OPINION!



    Contracts usually have nothing to do about trust but outline specific details (or in the case of marriage not so specific details) of an agreement. Would you sign a contract with someone you didn't trust? I know I wouldn't. Anyway marriage is both a contract and covenant. Heck by marriage very definition it is a contract.
    WRONG! Contracts have EVERYTHING to do with trust, in fact you wouldn't have to sign a contract if you trusted the person....let's use an example, Baseball players sign a contract with a team, in that contract the player is trying to get all the money they can out of the team and the owner is trying to NOT give that player money....if they both trusted each other they would just say "hey, if you perform well, we'll give you millions" and not sign anything, but they don't trust each other so they have to write it out so one won't betray the other....a COVENANT on the other hand is a promise between 2 individuals that trust each other to GIVE something to each other (not recieve something from each other) ....God made a covenant with Abraham to make his descendant more bountiful than the stars, he promised to GIVE him something....also, what I meant was that marraige SHOULD be viewed as a covenant, not a contract, as I am well aware that people will view it as a contract...



    That's what a relationship is. You should be doing that regardless if you are married or not.
    Jamie, I know this as well, but many people go into marriage and their reason for marrying the other person is "they make me happy" and NOTHING ELSE, they are NOT trying to give the other person ANYTHING...that's the whole point I was trying to make....sorry if I did not convey that very well.
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    We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.
    - The Apostle Paul (2 Corinthians 10:5)

  17. #17
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Jamie, read post #14, I never even came close to saying that! I think non-Christians can marry, I just don't think it will be as fullfilling as a Christian marriage, IT'S JUST MY OPINION!
    Yes indeed it is just your opinion, no need to 'shout'. Why though? Does this also extend into other religions? Do Jews not have as fullfilling marriage, muslims, Buddhists?

    WRONG! Contracts have EVERYTHING to do with trust, in fact you wouldn't have to sign a contract if you trusted the person....let's use an example, Baseball players sign a contract with a team, in that contract the player is trying to get all the money they can out of the team and the owner is trying to NOT give that player money....if they both trusted each other they would just say "hey, if you perform well, we'll give you millions" and not sign anything, but they don't trust each other so they have to write it out so one won't betray the other....
    That is a very black and white contract you speak of. Most are way more complex than that. Contracts avoid confusion, allow people to look back and see what is owed to them. You can't neglect human emotion. You can't trust anyone 100%, to do so you set yourself up for failure. However if you have a low amount of trust in someone it would be stupid to sign a contract.

    Lets work with the contract you have laid out about the ball player. Lets say it was agreed that said player would be on the team for five years and earn 10 million. Now lets say the person who made the verbal agreement died, what happens? Ah yes a contract would save your arse. Had nothing to do with trust. It has everything to do with being smart.

    Or lets say Joe Bob down the street says I can have his business when he retires/dies. Well he dies and his family knows nothing of this verbal agreement. Again has nothing to do with trust. Everything to do with protecting myself.
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~Bertrand Russell

  18. #18
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jamie
    Yes indeed it is just your opinion, no need to 'shout'. Why though? Does this also extend into other religions? Do Jews not have as fullfilling marriage, muslims, Buddhists?
    I believe (as I am assuming you do) that marraige was set up by the God of Christianity and Judaism, so to have a fullfilling marriage I believe that a belief in this God is necessary, atheists can have a fullfilling marraige but I don't think it is as fullfilling as the marraige of a theist (I sometimes say Christian instead of theist, didn't mean to exclude Jews)



    You can't trust anyone 100%, to do so you set yourself up for failure.
    You should in a marriage, if you don't, it is my OPINION that you shouldn't get married

    However if you have a low amount of trust in someone it would be stupid to sign a contract.
    But people who sign contracts GENERALLY do not have that much trust in the other person, when I signed a contract with the bank for the loan on my house, I don't think the bank "trusted" me very much...I have perfect credit and WILL pay them but if they completely trusted me (as you should in a marriage) they would have just said, "we will trust you that you will pay us back"...now I realize that it would be stupid for them to do this, but my whole point is this...the bank doesn't COMPLETELY trust that I will pay them back, that's why there is a contract....in marriage there should be COMPLETE trust and marraige should be viewed as a covenent, were you are promising to GIVE something rather that recieve something.....

    Re-read my first post in this thread, I edited it and re-worded some things to make it less confusing

    Here is the link
    http://www.onlinedebate.net/forums/s...1&postcount=12
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  19. #19
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    Quote Originally Posted by nanderson
    WRONG! Contracts have EVERYTHING to do with trust, in fact you wouldn't have to sign a contract if you trusted the person....let's use an example, Baseball players sign a contract with a team, in that contract the player is trying to get all the money they can out of the team and the owner is trying to NOT give that player money....if they both trusted each other they would just say "hey, if you perform well, we'll give you millions" and not sign anything, but they don't trust each other so they have to write it out so one won't betray the other....a COVENANT on the other hand is a promise between 2 individuals that trust each other to GIVE something to each other (not recieve something from each other) ....God made a covenant with Abraham to make his descendant more bountiful than the stars, he promised to GIVE him something....also, what I meant was that marraige SHOULD be viewed as a covenant, not a contract, as I am well aware that people will view it as a contract...
    Time for Semantics Hour, everyone's favorite ODN borefest.
    conĚtract
      1. An agreement between two or more parties, especially one that is written and enforceable by law. See Synonyms at bargain.
      2. The writing or document containing such an agreement.
    1. The branch of law dealing with formal agreements between parties.
    2. Marriage as a formal agreement; betrothal.
    3. Games.
      1. The last and highest bid of a suit in one hand in bridge.
      2. The number of tricks thus bid.
      3. Contract bridge.
    4. A paid assignment to murder someone: put out a contract on the mobster's life.
    covĚeĚnant
    n.
    1. A binding agreement; a compact. See Synonyms at bargain.
    2. Law.
      1. A formal sealed agreement or contract.
      2. A suit to recover damages for violation of such a contract.
    3. In the Bible, God's promise to the human race.
    Seems to be the same thing to me. I think you may be overgeneralizing just a bit about the lack of trust involved in a contract. Making an agreement requires trust. People typically don't make agreements if they don't trust each other. Most of the time a contract brings a mutual benefit. Contracts can be verbal or in writing, though I think the former requires a bit more trust.
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  20. #20
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    Re: What is Marriage?

    You should in a marriage, if you don't, it is my OPINION that you shouldn't get married
    Unless you are psychic you never know what the future holds. I am sure you trust your wife 100% but you never know, what will happen.


    Marriage is a covenant, NOT a contract - A contract is an agreement between 2 people who DON'T trust each other and both of them are trying to get something out of the agreement for themselves....a covenant is a promise between 2 people who TRUST each other and are promising to GIVE each other something

    So then when you got married you didn't sign your marriage certificate? Cause it is a contract.
    "The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts." ~Bertrand Russell

 

 
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